A Helpful Tip For Your Mindset Wellness When "Going After It"

When I was 19 years old I decided to drop out of college. I was attending Mount Royal in Calgary, Alberta and enrolled in the Business Administration program. I learned a lot on that campus, and yet I knew something more was out there waiting for me. A dear friend turned backpacking bestie, Jenny, found an exchange program that was being offered, which was taking place in Australia. We considered both enrolling, and then we thought "fuck it, why don't we just go to Australia on our own accord?" So began the adventure that would change my life forever.

At the time, my dad was paying for my education. It was a promise he made to all of his children. If my two older brothers and I wanted to go to college or university, he was going to pay for it in full. He wanted us to succeed. Higher education was what that looked like in his eyes at the time. I had other plans. So I sat him down and told him, "Dad, I'm dropping out of school and I'm gonna go traveling instead." He looked at me, took a pause and said "Ashley, if you're going to choose to drop out of school, which I'm paying for, you better put your name on it." And this has stuck with me ever since. A core memory etched into my mind of my dad, Michael Glenmore Gordon.

"Put your name on it." Such a simple statement. And what did he mean by that? If I was going to turn down the financial help he was willing to give me to go to school, I better follow through and execute my big plans of traveling the world. I was responsible for saving up, booking my flights, getting traveler's insurance, booking my stay, and keeping afloat while I was out in the world spreading my wings. Put your name on it. What did my dad mean by that? In life, when we make big choices, we need to be willing to take full ownership of said choices. In today's lingo: we need to able to "stand on business."

Challenge accepted. Off I went to work at an Indian restaurant named Karma in South East Calgary. I saved up my lil pennies, booked my flights, figured out where I was staying when my friend Jenny and I landed in Brisbane, Australia, and got my hands on some travel insurance. Right... the travel insurance. Enter Leeron Peretz. The first love of my life, my best friend, and a Soul too beautiful to try and describe. Words will never do him justice. Leeron was the one who helped Jenny and I get traveler's insurance for our trip. I met him in the months leading up to leave Canada, on my 20th birthday on August 24th, 2011 at Auburn Bay Lake here in Calgary.

It was October 28th, 2011, and I had left the nest to travel the world with my bestie. So much happened in my travels. A layover in Fiji which turned into 13 days spent exploring the islands. Working on and off all around Australia, and just a few months into backpacking, a month long trip in Thailand where I headed to go meet Leeron. Oh the look on his face when he saw me come out those arrival doors in the Bangkok airport. His first words to me: "I forgot how short you are!"

In October of 2012 I found out my beloved Leeron was diagnosed with cancer while we were backpacking in Australia. Him in Melbourne, and me in Halls Creek. A call I will never forget. Everything changed. We flew back to Canada together shortly after in November. During the entirety of his journey with lymphoblastic leukaemia, a rare form of cancer mostly found in children, I was his girlfriend, caregiver, and closest ally.

For almost a year he was in and out of hospitals getting treatment, or just going downhill from the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual toll it took on him. Death was lingering. Unlike me witnessing the chronic illness my oldest brother Greg had, and him being regularly hospitalized because of it throughout his life, this circumstance felt somehow more threatening. Cancer is fucking scary. Because I was so used to being in hospitals, caring for Leeron wasn’t as haunting as it probably should of been. I remembered the smells, the sights, and the sounds of the hospital. It was oddly familiar. I was faced with having to accept that the person who I loved deeply and wanted to create a life with was slipping away. We did our best. On September 24th, Greg’s birthday, in 2013 Leeron took his last breath as I held his hand.

This story has so many more incredible details. And maybe one day the words of these details will find themselves on the pages of an amazing book. Ashley the author? Has a ring to it, don't it? For now, I share some of it here on my website in the Herstory section coming this week, will continue to share bits here in my blog, and the rest will remain close to my heart and etched into my mind.

Traveling taught me things about myself that no university degree could ever come close to. I was really out there, a 4 foot nothing child at 20 years old, finding myself in the most odd and beautiful places. My love for travel has yet to cease. And I know it never will. It's in my blood and bones. I became a woman by deciding to go traveling when I did. And I can thank my dad for this very special little phrase that is continuing to help me move forward towards my dreams to this day. For that, I owe it all to him.

If you're finding yourself in a space of expansion where you're stepping into doing or creating something which will have a really big impact on the rest of your life, have no fear, all you have to do is put your name on it.

In Love & Truth,

Ashley